You act like I should feel bad for you. Like I’m the one who hurt you. Like I did everything wrong in our friendship. You’re so blind to it all. You were a bad friend. You even told me it with your own lips! Yet you act like it’s all about you. “I’m the one who deserves sympathy. Everyone should feel sorry for me.” Just grow up! No one cares that you have a headache! No one cares that you get a cold every two weeks! It’s your own fault! Half the time you’re not even sick! You just want to play everything up so people will feel sorry for you. I caught on to your little game a month into our friendship. Yet for some reason, I felt like I needed you as a friend. You were the only ‘good’ one I had. Yet you bugged me all the time. You are so completely self-centered. All you ever care about is how you look. “How’s my hair? Do you like my outfit? It’s so ‘me’.”
Here’s what I never had the guts to tell you, and partly what Jesus was restricting me from saying: “SHUT UP. I don’t care. Think about someone besides yourself for MAYBE 2 seconds.” I don’t CARE that you’re stressed. Maybe I would if you weren’t doing it to yourself! Just chill the heck out!
Oh, and to your boyfriend.
Just so the both of you know. If you leave each other’s sides for merely one second, trust me, life does go on. I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true. I hope you start sharing his locker instead of yours, that way I don’t have to look at the two of you every single day.
Some people really annoy me. I’ve noticed it more lately, and I’ve been trying to figure out why this is. It could be because I’m jealous. Of what? I’m not sure. I feel like even though I know I have everything I need, and a lot of what I want, that they have more. Which, it is ridiculous that I would feel that way. I don’t understand why I do.
Maybe they have more friends than me. Maybe they have a better relationship with Jesus than I do. Maybe they get better grades than I do. Maybe they have more of a life than I do. Maybe they have hobbies they love and I don’t. Maybe they always have plans with friends and I don’t. Maybe they have bigger dreams than I do. Maybe they have a map of their life planned out and I don’t. Maybe I feel like they know who they are, and I don’t. Maybe they have hobbies they love and I don’t.It could be anything. But I need to start realizing that how I feel shouldn’t depend on what others do or don’t do. I’m me, and I can’t change that.